X-Symantec-TimeoutProtection: 0 Return-Path: X-Original-To: info@ausheart.com.au Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: from localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 20C8ADEB50 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:26:06 +1000 (EST) Received: from marlin.fishinternet.com.au ([127.0.0.1]) by localhost (marlin.fishinternet.com.au [127.0.0.1]) (amavisd-new, port 10024) with ESMTP id 20115-05 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:25:46 +1000 (EST) Received-SPF: none (marlin.fishinternet.com.au: 203.16.214.141 is neither permitted nor denied by domain of fathersonline.org) client-ip=203.16.214.141; envelope-from=info@fathersonline.org; helo=ipmail02.adl2.internode.on.net; Received: from ipmail02.adl2.internode.on.net (ipmail02.adl2.internode.on.net [203.16.214.141]) by marlin.fishinternet.com.au (Postfix) with ESMTP id 244EDDEB14 for ; Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:25:46 +1000 (EST) Received: from eth2643.nsw.adsl.internode.on.net (HELO polyglot.com.au) ([150.101.193.82]) by ipmail02.adl2.internode.on.net with ESMTP; 10 Sep 2006 07:55:17 +0930 X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Filtered: true X-IronPort-Anti-Spam-Result: AVwPAO/bAkUcV1yBJodndQIJDio X-IronPort-AV: i="4.09,136,1157293800"; d="scan'208,217"; a="9454698:sNHT156526713" Received: from server ([192.168.100.14]) by polyglot.com.au with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.1830); Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:25:12 +1000 Thread-Topic: Fathers Setting Goals Reply-To: Message-ID: <007301c6d45e$d12e3ac0$0101a8c0@polyglot.local> thread-index: AcbUXtErbmiGIsZ+Q9++pQeL4Hevcg== From: To: Subject: Fathers Setting Goals Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2006 08:25:12 +1000 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0074_01C6D4B2.A2DA4AC0" X-Mailer: Microsoft CDO for Exchange 2000 Content-Class: urn:content-classes:message Importance: normal Priority: normal X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.3790.2757 X-OriginalArrivalTime: 09 Sep 2006 22:25:12.0828 (UTC) FILETIME=[D130ABC0:01C6D45E] X-TM-AS-Product-Ver: SMEX-7.2.0.1122-3.6.1039-14680.000 X-TM-AS-Result: Yes-5.639400-5.000000-2 X-Virus-Scanned: amavisd-new at fishinternet.com.au X-NAS-BWL: Found match for 'info@fathersonline.org' on the allowed list (1920 addresses, 0 domains) X-NAS-Classification: 0 X-NAS-MessageID: 1762 X-NAS-Validation: {FF825B7A-B161-40BD-90F8-3582DAE91A1E} This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0074_01C6D4B2.A2DA4AC0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable =20 =20 Unable to read this email? Please click here =20 =20 Issue 211 - 11 th September, 2006 Go to our website Here =20 =20 * Hello Warwick * Grandads * Laughter * Single Dads=20 * All you need is Love * Thought of the Week * Special Feature * News & Info * Dad's Prayer * Help Us Hello Warwick =20 If we are going to be successful as a father to our family, we have to set goals. Before we can set goals we must first dream about the future and develop a plan of action on how to get there. My good friend, Mark Sewell, says it this way, "To set goals we must first have a vision. It is very hard to separate values from vision." In fact most corporate Mission Statements include Values / Beliefs / Philosophy next to their corporate purpose. We at the Fatherhood Foundation believe the same. Integrity is everything! =20 There is enormous pressure on marriages and families today, and that is why it is so important for every man in consultation with his wife and family to develop a Family Mission Statement that includes the following aspects: vision, purpose, outcomes and values. I tend to throw them all together and call them goals because they all have bearing on your forward motion. =20 Zig Ziglar, in his book 'Success for Dummies', tells of a story about an 8 year old boy who wanted to be the Prime Minister of England. He imagined himself as the Prime Minister and even had his picture taken as a schoolboy standing in front of Number Ten Downing Street. Becoming Prime Minister was not only his goal, but he could also envision himself as Prime Minister of England - and yes, his name was Harold Wilson. (Prime Minister of England for almost 8 years) =20 =20 Zig Ziglar goes on to say, 'According to William James, the father of American psychology, the attitude that you have in approaching an objective is the single most important factor determining whether you reach that objective. I like what Bishop Fulton J. Sheen said about how attitudes relate to goals: "When we walk towards the light, the shadow will always follow, but when we walk away from the light, the shadow is always in front of us." . . Sheen is on to something - he's absolutely right. Discouragement is a tremendous factor in the lives of many people, particularly those who strive with all their might and see little progress toward a worthy objective.' =20 =20 Zig Ziglar's words have been an inspiration to me over the years. Many people tell me that I am a good father, but I find this hard to believe because I know about the many times I have failed as a father. But this I know, I have always been a goal setter from an early age. Any success I have as a father is because of my penchant for goal setting and my belief in the power of prayer. I have found notes of my goals 25 years ago and find that 'miraculously' I am still on track today when it comes to my desire to put my family first. =20 That is why in the first session of Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course last week I spoke to the participants about the need to set goals and prioritise their lives accordingly. Zig Ziglar talks about 7 key areas for goal setting as being physical, mental, spiritual, personal, family, career and financial. The key thing is to develop your dreams, create a vision and put your goals on paper. You will be amazed at the results. =20 Lovework =20 You guessed it: write out your own personal goals as a father. Use Zig Ziglar's 7-spoke template as detailed above or use my 'Ten Secrets for Success' found in the 'Special Feature' to develop your goal and vision plan for your life and a better future. You will never regret it! I guarantee!! Just do it!!! =20 Yours for goal setting Warwick Marsh ___________________________________________________________ Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is=20 the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years. Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself. back to top=20 =20 Grandads =20 =20 Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you a man=20 who will make history. Give me a man without a goal and I will give you a stock clerk. =20 J.C.Penny back to top=20 =20 Laughter Dear Tech Support: =20 =20 Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! =20 Thanks, =20 A Troubled User.=20 ___________________________________ =20 REPLY: Dear Troubled User: =20 This is a very common problem that men complain about. =20 Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM. =20 You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear", to alleviate software augmentation. =20 The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because' ultimately' you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway. =20 Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. =20 However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 ! =20 WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system. =20 Best of luck, Tech Support=20 back to top=20 =20 Single Dads=20 =20 A DIVORCED DAD COMMENTS =20 =20 I posted this to the website on the "before you even think about divorce" page, but don't know if I ever shared it with the list: =20 Diane, On the fallout of divorce, the following comes from a Smart Marriages regular who is participating in my online Art of Loving Well workshop. His poignant response comes after reading "A Distant Bell" by Elizabeth Enright, a story about all that goes on during the summer days 11-year-old Susie and her dad spend together. (I have his permission to share these comments.) Nancy. =20 A few lines from the story will set the scene: =20 "The year after my father and mother were divorced, my father, who got me in the summers, took me to a town on the Cape called Harbor Landing.... "My father, I sensed, was trying hard. I smiled obligingly, though I thought he could not know much about me if he didn't know I loathed most boys and planned never to marry; and it was no joking matter. I was eleven years old, with straight hair, and skinny knees that jutted out above my socks. I felt uncomfortable with my father, and I think he did with me. We did not know each other very well, having lost track of each other, rather, in the years just past." =20 I am a divorced father of now a 19-year-old daughter. She was 10 at the time of the divorce. I can completely sympathize with Suzie's dad. I think that he is really quite a good dad and trying very hard to be an effective parent for his daughter. I can sympathize with the fathers that pack up and leave, 1,000's of miles away and never see their kids. It is selfish and wrong but I have often felt that it would be a relief to completely forget I have a family and start fresh. It is so painful to not be with your flesh and blood, to know that your reputation is constantly being soiled in the home that you purchased and maintained, even if your ex-wife is conscious not to say anything bad about you. The very connotation that her mother could not live with him another minute is completely different than living with spite while her father is in the home. At least her father is not so bad that her mother could not have him in the home. =20 The thought that he only 'gets' to see her at court ordered times and is not involved in seeing her progress toward adulthood day after day gnaws on him multiple times each day. The financial siphoning of his income without any recognition or thanks. The erosion of the dream. He is organizing as good a time for Suzie as he could imagine without really knowing what she likes or would enjoy. He can only afford what he has arranged for her. He really doesn't know her except the frozen memory of what she was like before he left home. That is why he may treat her like a little girl, because that is all he's known her to be. Beyond that day is primarily a guess, a tapestry of moments he talked with her in snippets. Maybe the notes she wrote. He pieces together who he knows is Suzie and hopes that he is somewhere close to who she might be. =20 So his time with her is joyous yet searing as he is reminded of times he has missed with her, not knowing what her favourite food is, how her teachers react to her essays, not knowing if her shoe size is a 3 or 4, or what she looked like before she got her last haircut. He knows that she doesn=B9t know him either. Much of what she does know is tainted by her mother=B9s comments and her wishes of what she would like a dad to = be. He does not meet her expectations and wants of a father because he is not meeting the most basic need of being one, being there. =20 I cannot fault him at all. He is being much better of a father than many others who are in his position. I can fault him like I can fault a wheelchair bound person for blocking the hallway. =20 Susie has lost her place in a family. She is not the apple of her father's eye because she cannot see her father's eye, except for a few days on summer vacation. She has lost the communication skills of the two genders as she does not see the interaction of a committed couple but rather sees a romanticized interaction of potential second-go-'round suitors. She has lost her confidence in dealing with boys/men. She has lost being a part of a cast that is family but now becomes a special guest of her father at a summer resort. =20 =20 Nancy McLaren 'The Loving Well' Project School of Education Boston University http://www.bu.edu/sed/lovingwell =20 back to top=20 =20 All you need is Love =20 =20 =20 =20 MARRIAGE IS BEST FOR BRINGING UP CHILDREN =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 http://www.bcft.co.uk/Family%20breakdown%20in%20the%20UK.pdf =20 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=3D/news/2006/09/07/nmarria= g e07.xml =20 =20 Harry Benson Bristol Community Family Trust, UK =20 Excerpts from the UK Daily Telegraph: =20 The findings will put intense pressure on David Cameron to offer voters a cast-iron guarantee that he will put marriage at the heart of Tory policies on the family. . . . =20 The findings are based on a study of 15,000 mothers who gave birth during 2000-01 - the so-called Millennium Cohort Study. It found that cohabiting couples were twice as likely to experience a family breakdown during the early years of parenthood than married couples of a similar income. =20 When the sample was expanded to include all unmarried couples - including those cohabiting and "closely involved" - family breakdown is five times more common than among married couples. =20 Almost 3,000 of the women involved in the study had become lone parents during the first three years of their child's life. =20 However, analysis of the figures reveals that six per cent of married couples had experienced a family breakdown compared with 32 per cent among all unmarried couples. When the unmarried figures are broken down, they show that 20 per cent of cohabiting couples experienced breakdown while the figure among "closely involved" couples was 74 per cent. =20 Evidence from the study suggests that the low breakdown rates among married couples can be explained by a range of factors including commitment, fathers playing a greater role in their children's upbringing and better communication. =20 Mr Duncan Smith said that the study offered compelling evidence that marriage must be the basis of Government policy to tackle family breakdown. back to top=20 =20 Thought of the Week =20 =20 You must have long range goals=20 to keep you from being frustrated=20 by short range failures. =20 Anon =20 =20 back to top=20 =20 Special Feature TEN SECRETS FOR SUCCESS by Warwick Marsh Life Goals Value Goals Relational Goals =20 Material, Financial & Work Goals =20 1) Spiritual Goals Love God - God is love and God is truth - 'I wanna know what love is' by Foreigner - find God. God is the Great Father, the creator of all things. God loves you; love is the greatest force in the universe. 2) Integrity & Truth Goals=20 Love Truth - 'Honesty is the best policy' (anon), 'buy the truth and do not sell it', 'a good name is more desirable than great riches' (both proverbs), 'to thine own self be true and as night follows day you cannot be false to any man', William Shakespeare. 3) Attitude Goals Love Faith - Believe in yourself, believe in others, be positive and speak positively - 'the cup is half full, not half empty'. 'He who guards his lips, guards his life', life and death are in the power of the tongue (proverbs), 'as a man thinks, so is he', Jesus said, 'You shall have whatsoever you say'. Faith - you can do very little with it, but you can do nothing without it. =20 4) Learning Goals=20 Love Wisdom & Knowledge - Never stop learning, never stop growing - 'by wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established', 'the more you know, the more you grow'. The more you know, the more you realise you don't know - this is the key to humility. 5) Personal Goals=20 Love Yourself - Love Life - Don't worry, be happy. 'Life is for living', The golden rule is to love your neighbour as you love yourself. 'Life be in it', 'Don't let life pass you by'. 6) Health Goals=20 Love Being Healthy - plan health, eat right, sleep right, exercise right and you will be right. 'A merry heart doeth good like a medicine', Keep your sense of humour, plenty of people will try to take it! Keep the saw sharp. 7) Family: Marital & Fatherhood Goals=20 Love Your Neighbour - Your relationships are your most important treasure. Those closest to you - your wife, your children, your family members, love your friends. 8) Community: Giving & Helping Goals=20 Love People (Love Giving) - to smile at someone is a wonderful gift. The key to life is giving - Mother Teresa. 'Be a giver, not a taker' -'there is great joy in giving' - giving is exciting. The great people of the world are all giving people. It is more blessed to give than to receive. 9) Career, Business & Work Goals=20 Love Work - 'whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might' - the hand of the diligent will prosper - discipline is part of work - whoever loves discipline loves knowledge. Success is 90% perspiration & 10% inspiration. 10) Financial, Business & Asset Goals=20 Love Being Financially Healthy - Plan your work and work your plan. Saving is important and so is giving - investing for the future, building your asset base - be careful of gambling addictions. =20 back to top=20 =20 News & Info =20 =20 =20 We Love You dad-the final message Steve Irwin didn't get http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,20361307-5006301,00.htm l =20 =20 =20 =20 Peter Perfect leaves his Legacy 'I was fortunate I had a father who supported me no matter what I did.' http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20375652-2,00.html =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 =20 Group calls for laws to ban smacking children by parents. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20381957-2,00.html =20 ___________________________________ =20 Fathers closer to children By Clair Weaver August 20, 2006 12:00 =20 VIRTUALLY all fathers are spending more time with their children than previous generations, a study shows. In a trend consistent with the popular stereotype of the "sensitive new-age guy'', today's dads are also better at helping around the house and performing childcare duties.=20 =20 Research by the online magazine motherInc has found 95 per cent of fathers believe they spend more time with their children than their own fathers did with them.=20 motherInc chief executive Claudia Keech says 25 per cent of dads are "completely hands-on'' - meaning that they undertake everything from school runs and doctor's appointments to homework and sporting activities at weekends.=20 Scott Avery, the father of Zoe, 4, and Tegan, 3, typifies the modern dad.=20 Mr Avery juggles fatherhood with a full-time job at Sydney University, where he has an agreed flexible working arrangement. His wife, Alison, also works full-time.=20 For four years, Mr Avery and a group of fellow dads have met regularly at a pub to socialise and offer one another support.=20 "It started off with all the blokes talking about sport, then we got to know the children and what their issues were,'' he says.=20 "We were comparing stories, and we became a group of friends who could support one another.''=20 Mr Avery, who has begun writing a column called DadInc for the motherInc website, says his flexible working regimen has improved his relationship with his children.=20 "I had a year in which I was working quite long hours doing the rat race,'' he said.=20 As a child, he spent less time with his own father whose role was seen as the breadwinner.=20 Mr Avery and his fathers' group will definitely be spending this Father's Day with their children - their wives are leaving them behind to go on a trip to Canberra together.=20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *=20 =20 Letters =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 My daughter saw the Superman TV advert on Perth TV. She recognized it when I played the video clip to her. Well done. =20 Happy Father's Day =20 Steve Blizard Perth =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 Yes, I am one of the very lucky single dads and it is now just after midnight and I have got on the net to read any mail over the weekend. My fathersonline was terrific as usual. I just want to say even though it has been wet since Friday nite nothing could have dampened my Fathers Day. My eldest gave me the present on Friday, it was one of my NRL teams' stubbie coolers. I broke it over a few drinks on the weekend. My youngest was busy Saturday night finishing her card she started making at school. I went to church as normal, one up, one asleep, though as I drove home (all of 3 minutes) I get a text message; are you on your way home yet dad?" I replied, "Getting paper, there in 2 min." I shedded car and walked into a full cooked breaky, clean kitchen, washing up done from night before, a fruit juice and finished Card; my 15 and 12 year old spoilt me really special. I will never forget this day. Then after dinner we watch TV together, and then I helped my older girl with school assignment, hence the late net access.=20 =20 Yes life can be and is blessed some days, just another number one.=20 =20 Don't forget dads, you are the number ONE Dad to your children, no angry sick ex or step dad can steal that title from you, that is all yours, so treasure it with your children the best way you can. =20 =20 Cheers from Mike :) =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 The new ads that you are showing are fantastic. They show the lighter side of fatherhood and that being involved isn't such a chore. =20 Here in Port Pirie we have re worked some Canadian ads from "My Daddy Matters because". With permission we have changed the voice over and tag line and these ads are being shown on Southern Cross GTS/BKN. At present only one ad is on view as the voice overs are being done on the others. We decided to promote Being Dad with these ads so as to raise the local awareness. So far the response has been great. =20 The others feature a dad rehearsing some wild animal noises on the drive home so that he can read to his young daughter and a dad getting ready for a work out and then doing a dance routine with his teenage daughter. Thanks for the inclusion about Dads Drop Off Day here in Pirie =20 Keep up the good work =20 Andrew Hadert Being Dad Project Officer =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * =20 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =20 I just saw your ad and thought it was an ad for child abuse. I could not believe my eyes when I saw it was an ad for you. It portrayed a father with his young son sitting on a couch drinking coke and belching with the then also drinking coke spilling it and belching. I find this ad insulting as a father if that was the only input in my child's life. If I was as bad a father as the one portrayed in the ad I would expect family services to take the child from me. How about the next ad have the father playing a sport or helping the child with homework or something. The Amart allsports ad is a better ad for fatherhood than yours. =20 =20 My wife thought the ad must have been created by a disgruntled single mum for a joke. =20 Yours faithfully Insulted father =20 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * TRAINING COURSES Code WWM 3 =20 Working with Men Accredited Course =20 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 20,21,22 September & 15,16,17 November 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm North Parramatta =20 =20 Code EIT 16 Hey, Dad for Separated Fathers Facilitator Training Wednesday, Thursday 25,26 October 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm North Parramatta =20 Code EIT 17 Fathers' Matters Program - Facilitator Training for an Intensive Group Program Monday, Tuesday 4&5 December 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm At Macarthur =20 To register: To obtain an application form for this training, call Maureen Micallef at Burnside on 02 9768 6811 or email mmicallef@burnside.org.au or visit the web site www.burnside.org.au and follow the prompts to Resources and Training back to top=20 =20 Dad's Prayer =20 =20 =20 Dear God =20 Help me have a vision of the future that includes you. Help me determine my plans and goals. Help me write them down so that they make sense and include all the aspects of my life and my family's life.=20 Then help me achieve them. back to top=20 =20 Help Us Click here for more information about us =20 Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.=20 Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a source of harm.=20 The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother. If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility: Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund=20 (Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility) Westpac Branch Wollongong BSB: 032 695 A/C: 25-5558=20 Or mail cheque and address details to: PO Box 440 WOLLONGONG NSW 2520 AUSTRALIA The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997. You have received the fathersonline.org newsletter because you have subscribed, or you have been subscribed by a friend. If you do not wish to receive future emails, please click the UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an email to info@fathersonline.org with the word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading. back to top=20 Click Here to Unsubscribe =20 ------=_NextPart_000_0074_01C6D4B2.A2DA4AC0 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Fatherhood Foundation
Unable to read this email? Please click here
Issue 211 - 11 th September, 2006 Go to our website Here


Hello Warwick

 

If we are going to be successful as a father to our family, we have to set goals.  Before we can set goals we must first dream about the future and develop a plan of action on how to get there.  My good friend, Mark Sewell, says it this way, "To set goals we must first have a vision. It is very hard to separate values from vision."  In fact most corporate Mission Statements include Values / Beliefs / Philosophy next to their corporate purpose. We at the Fatherhood Foundation believe the same.  Integrity is everything!

 

There is enormous pressure on marriages and families today, and that is why it is so important for every man in consultation with his wife and family to develop a Family Mission Statement that includes the following aspects: vision, purpose, outcomes and values.  I tend to throw them all together and call them goals because they all have bearing on your forward motion.

 

Zig Ziglar, in his book 'Success for Dummies', tells of a story about an 8 year old boy who wanted to be the Prime Minister of England.  He imagined himself as the Prime Minister and even had his picture taken as a schoolboy standing in front of Number Ten Downing Street.  Becoming Prime Minister was not only his goal, but he could also envision himself as Prime Minister of England - and yes, his name was Harold Wilson. (Prime Minister of England for almost 8 years) 

 

Zig Ziglar goes on to say, 'According to William James, the father of American psychology, the attitude that you have in approaching an objective is the single most important factor determining whether you reach that objective.  I like what Bishop Fulton J. Sheen said about how attitudes relate to goals: "When we walk towards the light, the shadow will always follow, but when we walk away from the light, the shadow is always in front of us." . . Sheen is on to something - he's absolutely right.  Discouragement is a tremendous factor in the lives of many people, particularly those who strive with all their might and see little progress toward a worthy objective.'

 

Zig Ziglar's words have been an inspiration to me over the years.  Many people tell me that I am a good father, but I find this hard to believe because I know about the many times I have failed as a father.  But this I know, I have always been a goal setter from an early age.  Any success I have as a father is because of my penchant for goal setting and my belief in the power of prayer.  I have found notes of my goals 25 years ago and find that 'miraculously' I am still on track today when it comes to my desire to put my family first.

 

That is why in the first session of Good to Great Fatherhood Mentoring Course last week I spoke to the participants about the need to set goals and prioritise their lives accordingly.  Zig Ziglar talks about 7 key areas for goal setting as being physical, mental, spiritual, personal, family, career and financial.  The key thing is to develop your dreams, create a vision and put your goals on paper.  You will be amazed at the results.

 

Lovework

 

You guessed it: write out your own personal goals as a father.  Use Zig Ziglar's 7-spoke template as detailed above or use my 'Ten Secrets for Success' found in the 'Special Feature' to develop your goal and vision plan for your life and a better future.  You will never regret it!  I guarantee!! Just do it!!!

 

Yours for goal setting

Warwick Marsh

___________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 30 years. He is
the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 25 years to 13 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

back to top

Grandads

Give me a stock clerk with a goal,

and I will give you a man

who will make history.

Give me a man without a goal

and I will give you a stock clerk.

 

J.C.Penny

back to top

Laughter

Dear Tech Support:

 

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend version 7.0 to Wife version 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

 

Thanks,

 


A Troubled User.

___________________________________

 

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

 

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

 

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM.

 

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear", to alleviate software augmentation.

 

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE because' ultimately' you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

 

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

 

However, be very careful how you use these programs . Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

 

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

 

Best of luck,

Tech Support

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Single Dads

 

A DIVORCED DAD COMMENTS

 

I posted this to the website on the "before you even think about divorce" page, but don't know if I ever shared it with the list:

 

Diane, On the fallout of divorce, the following comes from a Smart Marriages regular who is participating in my online Art of Loving Well workshop.  His poignant response comes after reading "A Distant Bell" by Elizabeth Enright, a story about all that goes on during the summer days 11-year-old Susie and her dad spend together.  (I have his permission to share these comments.) Nancy.

 

A few lines from the story will set the scene:

 

"The year after my father and mother were divorced, my father, who got me in the summers, took me to a town on the Cape called Harbor Landing.... "My father, I sensed, was trying hard.  I smiled obligingly, though I thought he could not know much about me if he didn't know I loathed most boys and planned never to marry; and it was no joking matter.  I was eleven years old, with straight hair, and skinny knees that jutted out above my socks.  I felt uncomfortable with my father, and I think he did with me.  We did not know each other very well, having lost track of each other, rather, in the years just past."

 

I am a divorced father of now a 19-year-old daughter.  She was 10 at the time of the divorce. I can completely sympathize with Suzie's dad.  I think that he is really quite a good dad and trying very hard to be an effective parent for his daughter.  I can sympathize with the fathers that pack up and leave, 1,000's of miles away and never see their kids.  It is selfish and wrong but I have often felt that it would be a relief to completely forget I have a family and start fresh. It is so painful to not be with your flesh and blood, to know that your reputation is constantly being soiled in the home that you purchased and maintained, even if your ex-wife is conscious not to say anything bad about you.  The very connotation that her mother could not live with him another minute is completely different than living with spite while her father is in the home. At least her father is not so bad that her mother could not have him in the home.

 

The thought that he only 'gets' to see her at court ordered times and is not involved in seeing her progress toward adulthood day after day gnaws on him multiple times each day. The financial siphoning of his income without any recognition or thanks.  The erosion of the dream.  He is organizing as good a time for Suzie as he could imagine without really knowing what she likes or would enjoy.  He can only afford what he has arranged for her.  He really doesn't know her except the frozen memory of what she was like before he left home.  That is why he may treat her like a little girl, because that is all he's known her to be.  Beyond that day is primarily a guess, a tapestry of moments he talked with her in snippets.  Maybe the notes she wrote.  He pieces together who he knows is Suzie and hopes that he is somewhere close to who she might be.

 

So his time with her is joyous yet searing as he is reminded of times he has missed with her, not knowing what her favourite food is, how her teachers react to her essays, not knowing if her shoe size is a 3 or 4, or what she looked like before she got her last haircut.  He knows that she doesnıt know him either.  Much of what she does know is tainted by her motherıs comments and her wishes of what she would like a dad to be.  He does not meet her expectations and wants of a father because he is not meeting the most basic need of being one, being there.

 

I cannot fault him at all.  He is being much better of a father than many others who are in his position.  I can fault him like I can fault a wheelchair bound person for blocking the hallway.

 

Susie has lost her place in a family.  She is not the apple of her father's eye because she cannot see her father's eye, except for a few days on summer vacation.  She has lost the communication skills of the two genders as she does not see the interaction of a committed couple but rather sees a romanticized interaction of potential second-go-'round suitors.  She has lost her confidence in dealing with boys/men.  She has lost being a part of a cast that is family but now becomes a special guest of her father at a summer resort.   

 

Nancy McLaren 'The Loving Well' Project School of Education Boston University    http://www.bu.edu/sed/lovingwell   

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All you need is Love

 

 





MARRIAGE IS BEST FOR BRINGING UP CHILDREN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.bcft.co.uk/Family%20breakdown%20in%20the%20UK.pdf

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/09/07/nmarriage07.xml   

 

Harry Benson

Bristol Community Family Trust, UK

 

Excerpts from the UK Daily Telegraph:

 

The findings will put intense pressure on David Cameron to offer voters a cast-iron guarantee that he will put marriage at the heart of Tory policies on the family. . . .

 

The findings are based on a study of 15,000 mothers who gave birth during 2000-01 - the so-called Millennium Cohort Study. It found that cohabiting couples were twice as likely to experience a family breakdown during the early years of parenthood than married couples of a similar income.

 

When the sample was expanded to include all unmarried couples - including those cohabiting and "closely involved" - family breakdown is five times more common than among married couples.

 

Almost 3,000 of the women involved in the study had become lone parents during the first three years of their child's life.

 

However, analysis of the figures reveals that six per cent of married couples had experienced a family breakdown compared with 32 per cent among all unmarried couples. When the unmarried figures are broken down, they show that 20 per cent of cohabiting couples experienced breakdown while the figure among "closely involved" couples was 74 per cent.

 

Evidence from the study suggests that the low breakdown rates among married couples can be explained by a range of factors including commitment, fathers playing a greater role in their children's upbringing and better communication.

 

Mr Duncan Smith said that the study offered compelling evidence that marriage must be the basis of Government policy to tackle family breakdown.

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Thought of the Week

You must have long range goals

to keep you from being frustrated

by short range failures.

 

Anon

 

 

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Special Feature


TEN  SECRETS  FOR  SUCCESS

by Warwick Marsh


Life Goals

Value Goals

Relational Goals

Material, Financial & Work Goals

 

1) Spiritual Goals

Love God - God is love and God is truth - 'I wanna know what love is' by Foreigner - find God.  God is the Great Father, the creator of all things.  God loves you; love is the greatest force in the universe.

2) Integrity & Truth Goals

Love Truth - 'Honesty is the best policy' (anon), 'buy the truth and do not sell it', 'a good name is more desirable than great riches' (both proverbs), 'to thine own self be true and as night follows day you cannot be false to any man', William Shakespeare.

3) Attitude Goals

Love Faith - Believe in yourself, believe in others, be positive and speak positively - 'the cup is half full, not half empty'.  'He who guards his lips, guards his life', life and death are in the power of the tongue (proverbs), 'as a man thinks, so is he', Jesus said, 'You shall have whatsoever you say'.  Faith - you can do very little with it, but you can do nothing without it. 

4) Learning Goals

Love Wisdom & Knowledge - Never stop learning, never stop growing - 'by wisdom a house is built and through understanding it is established', 'the more you know, the more you grow'.  The more you know, the more you realise you don't know - this is the key to humility.

5) Personal Goals

Love Yourself - Love Life - Don't worry, be happy.  'Life is for living', The golden rule is to love your neighbour as you love yourself.  'Life be in it', 'Don't let life pass you by'.

6) Health Goals

Love Being Healthy - plan health, eat right, sleep right, exercise right and you will be right. 'A merry heart doeth good like a medicine', Keep your sense of humour, plenty of people will try to take it!  Keep the saw sharp.

7) Family: Marital & Fatherhood Goals

Love Your Neighbour - Your relationships are your most important treasure.  Those closest to you - your wife, your children, your family members, love your friends.

8) Community: Giving & Helping Goals

Love People (Love Giving) - to smile at someone is a wonderful gift.  The key to life is giving - Mother Teresa.  'Be a giver, not a taker' -'there is great joy in giving' - giving is exciting.  The great people of the world are all giving people.  It is more blessed to give than to receive.

9) Career, Business & Work Goals

Love Work - 'whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might' - the hand of the diligent will prosper - discipline is part of work - whoever loves discipline loves knowledge.  Success is 90% perspiration & 10% inspiration.

10) Financial, Business & Asset Goals

Love Being Financially Healthy - Plan your work and work your plan.  Saving is important and so is giving - investing for the future, building your asset base - be careful of gambling addictions.

 

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News & Info

We Love You dad-the final message Steve Irwin didn't get

http://www.news.com.au/adelaidenow/story/0,22606,20361307-5006301,00.html

 

 

 




Peter Perfect leaves his Legacy

'I was fortunate I had a father who supported me no matter what I did.'

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20375652-2,00.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Group calls for laws to ban smacking children by parents.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,20381957-2,00.html


___________________________________

 

Fathers closer to children

By Clair Weaver

August 20, 2006 12:00

 

VIRTUALLY all fathers are spending more time with their children than previous generations, a study shows.

In a trend consistent with the popular stereotype of the "sensitive new-age guy'', today's dads are also better at helping around the house and performing childcare duties.

 

Research by the online magazine motherInc has found 95 per cent of fathers believe they spend more time with their children than their own fathers did with them.

motherInc chief executive Claudia Keech says 25 per cent of dads are "completely hands-on'' - meaning that they undertake everything from school runs and doctor's appointments to homework and sporting activities at weekends.

Scott Avery, the father of Zoe, 4, and Tegan, 3, typifies the modern dad.

Mr Avery juggles fatherhood with a full-time job at Sydney University, where he has an agreed flexible working arrangement. His wife, Alison, also works full-time.

For four years, Mr Avery and a group of fellow dads have met regularly at a pub to socialise and offer one another support.

"It started off with all the blokes talking about sport, then we got to know the children and what their issues were,'' he says.

"We were comparing stories, and we became a group of friends who could support one another.''

Mr Avery, who has begun writing a column called DadInc for the motherInc website, says his flexible working regimen has improved his relationship with his children.

"I had a year in which I was working quite long hours doing the rat race,'' he said.

As a child, he spent less time with his own father whose role was seen as the breadwinner.

Mr Avery and his fathers' group will definitely be spending this Father's Day with their children - their wives are leaving them behind to go on a trip to Canberra together.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Letters

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

My daughter saw the Superman TV advert on Perth TV.   She recognized it when I played the video clip to her.

Well done.

 

Happy Father's Day

 

Steve Blizard

Perth

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

Yes, I am one of the very lucky single dads and it is now just after midnight and I have got on the net to read any mail over the weekend. My fathersonline was terrific as usual. I just want to say even though it has been wet since Friday nite nothing could have dampened my Fathers Day. My eldest gave me the present on Friday, it was one of my NRL teams' stubbie coolers. I broke it over a few drinks on the weekend. My youngest was busy Saturday night finishing her card she started making at school. I went to church as normal, one up, one asleep, though as I drove home (all of 3 minutes) I get a text message; are you on your way home yet dad?" I replied, "Getting paper, there in 2 min." I shedded car and walked into a full cooked breaky, clean kitchen, washing up done from night before, a fruit juice and finished Card; my 15 and 12 year old spoilt me really spe cial. I will never forget this day. Then after dinner we watch TV together, and then I helped my older girl with school assignment, hence the late net access.

 

Yes life can be and is blessed some days, just another number one.

 

Don't forget dads, you are the number ONE Dad to  your children, no angry sick ex or step dad can steal that title from you, that is all yours, so treasure it with your children the best way you can. 

 

Cheers from Mike :)

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

The new ads that you are showing are fantastic. They show the lighter side of fatherhood and that being involved isn't such a chore.

 

Here in Port Pirie we have re worked some Canadian ads from "My Daddy Matters because". With permission we have changed the voice over and tag line and these ads are being shown on Southern Cross GTS/BKN. At present only one ad is on view as the voice overs are being done on the others.

We decided to promote Being Dad with these ads so as to raise the local awareness. So far the response has been great.

 

The others feature a dad rehearsing some wild animal noises on the drive home so that he can read to his young daughter and a dad getting ready for a work out and then doing a dance routine with his teenage daughter.

Thanks for the inclusion about Dads Drop Off Day here in Pirie

 

Keep up the good work

 

Andrew Hadert

Being Dad Project Officer

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

 

I just saw your ad and thought it was an ad for child abuse. I could not believe my eyes when I saw it was an ad for you. It portrayed a father with his young son sitting on a couch drinking coke and belching with the then also drinking coke spilling it and belching. I find this ad insulting as a father if that was the only input in my child's life. If I was as bad a father as the one portrayed in the ad I would expect family services to take the child from me. How about the next ad have the father playing a sport or helping the child with homework or something. The Amart allsports ad is a better ad for fatherhood than yours. 

 

My wife thought the ad must have been created by a disgruntled single mum for a joke.

 

Yours faithfully

Insulted father

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 TRAINING COURSES

Code  WWM 3

 

 Working with Men Accredited Course

 

 Wednesday, Thursday, Friday 20,21,22 September & 15,16,17 November 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

          North Parramatta

  

 

Code  EIT 16

Hey, Dad for Separated Fathers Facilitator Training

Wednesday, Thursday 25,26 October 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

North Parramatta

 

Code  EIT 17

Fathers' Matters Program - Facilitator Training for an Intensive  Group Program

Monday, Tuesday 4&5 December 2006 from 9.30am to 4.30pm

At Macarthur

  

To register:    To obtain an application form for this training, call Maureen Micallef at Burnside on 02 9768 6811 or email mmicallef@burnside.org.au  or visit the web site www.burnside.org.au  and follow the prompts to Resources and Training

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Dad's Prayer

 

Dear God

 

Help me have a vision of the future

that includes you.

Help me determine my plans and goals.

Help me write them down

so that they make sense

and include all the aspects

of my life and my family's life.

Then help me achieve them.

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Help Us

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation is a Harm Prevention Charity.
Fatherlessness and inadequate fathering has been proven to be a   source of harm.

The Fatherhood Foundation helps children by promoting excellence  in fathering. Excellent fathers are in word and deed: responsible, involved, protective, loving and committed to the well-being of their children and their children's mother.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund and receive tax deductibility:

Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund
(Name, address and amount details must be emailed for a receipt for tax deductibility)
Westpac Branch Wollongong
BSB: 032 695
A/C: 25-5558

Or mail cheque and address details to:
PO Box 440
WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520
AUSTRALIA

The Fatherhood Foundation Public Fund  is a public fund listed on the Register of Harm Prevention Charities under Subdivision 30_EA of the Income Tax Assessment Act 1997.

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